Lines by a sitkum tutchman

This is a weird interjection in the “Lines to a Klootchman” / “Lines by a Klootchman” poetic volleyfest.

The only thing Chinook Jargon about it is the title: Lines by a “half (=fake?) German”, in the mock-German accent also affected in the verse.

Enjoy your daily helping of doggerel!  What do you think this one’s theme is?


Ven I lays mineself town in mine lonely pedroom
Und dries for to shleep very soundt,
De treams, Oh! — how into mine het dey will come,
Till I vish I vas onder de groundt,
Und shomeveres else.

Shometimes ven I eats von pig supper I treams
Dat mine shtomach ish fillt full of shtones,
Und out in mine shleep like de tivel I schreams,
Und kicks off de pedclothes, und groans,
Und shometing else.

Den dere ash I lays, midt the pedclothes all off,
I kits mineself all over froze,
In de morning I wakes midt de hetache und koff,
Und I am shick from mine het to mine toes,
Und shometing else.

Oh vat shall be tun for a poor man like me?
Vat for do I leaf such a life?
Shome shays dere’s a cure for drouble of me–
Dinks I’ll dhry it, und kit me a wife,
Or shometing else.

DOWN THE SOUND, Jan. 8th, ’59

[From the Steilacoom, Washington Territory Puget Sound Herald, Jan. 21, 1859, page 1.]