Story of a stumper, nearly?

Are you one of the few that have taught themselves to read Chinuk pipa? (The “Chinook writing” shorthand.)

I wager that whether you have or haven’t done so, the following will be mighty hard Jargon to read, in a way that reminds me of “Story of a Stump“:

In case you haven’t yet figured out what I’m saying, one last clue: look at the French column.

This reproduction of the title page from October 1894’s issue of the Kamloops Wawa newspaper is evidently not a photograph or any other exact imaging technique.

It’s been hand-copied by someone who knows neither Chinuk pipa shorthand nor French!

If you’re the same kind of glutton for punishment that I am when it comes to language puzzles, try to figure out what either column in the image says!

— from the Princeton (IN) Clarion-Leader of December 27, 1894, page 6